November 22, 2008

I thought I was okay. It has almost been a month and sometimes, I see myself smiling and laughing, but at the very core, I know I'm half empty.

I've been helping myself really. Going out with friends, colleagues, doing activities I haven't done in a million years, but as always, something makes me go back. Maybe it be a news, a dream or just the plain feeling of being lonely. I haven't been this sad for a long time. When I look back at my first real break up years ago, I can't recall how in the world I survived. All I knew was that I had kept myself busy. I've been doing that now but how come to no avail? This emptiness is eating my other side in a slow, excruciating pace. My silence has been my torture.... yet my sanity. This is the right thing.

Thank God for wonderful things called friends.

lost in transition

I'm afraid I don't know how to write anymore. Love or something like it has grabbed me from my dream. That dream to change people's lives with my train of thoughts. I am now an incoherent piece of shit, who can't even make out something sensible in a blog post.